May 2013
abarestorytotell:
if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009
rneerkat:
pro tip: if somebody is angry at you, start crawling on the ground and lick their feet. if you can convince them that you turned into a puppy they will stop being mad at you. it is impossible to be angry at puppies
grymshaw:
i recognize and fully admit that i’m addicted to the internet but considering i could be addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex i think i did pretty good ok
extrasad:
i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
“You’re a beautiful painting left unfinished.”
– Six word story # 14 (via constantcomfort)
cnnbreaking:
constantcomfort:
this whole website is white people making fun of white people.
cchannette:
jwisser:
thepasta-nerada:
vvrathia:
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
oh my god
foodchewer:
*hides good snacks from family members*
ejacutastic:
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
benedictedcumberbabeof221:
mighty-thor-of-assgard:
danniauttumns:
ser-merlin-of-valyria:
tumblr has fallen
david karp is dead
yahoo is coming
your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.
it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:
“the ministry has fallen
scrimgeour is dead
they are coming.”
hurricanegilbert:
if you ever feel ugly just remember that i am uglier
svveetlemonade:
me doing math homework
yuppadupp:
thewholockgames:
districteverthorne:
what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too
calm down satan
Time...
powerburial:
DON’T
make me nervous
DO
not make me nervous
bandbutts:
If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
friendsofthegaybc:
travisstolls:
friendsofthegaybc:
travisstolls:
WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOG
Very nice
Thanks
lurkerpi:
please be nice to people you could maybe make their day a bit better just by bein nice man you never know
deerpong:
bowlingforsoup:
how many haters does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they fear change, even if it can make the world a brighter place.
That was so deep I shit myself
fake-mermaid:
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
sophieofcydonia:
foreveralone-lyguy:
And on the third day, god said “let there be pizza”
* waits for tumblr user pizza to appear *
2boys1cup:
it started out with a click
how did it end up like this
laughinggaschamber:
Things that make me fall asleep really fast.
when someone hums quietly.
when my hair gets played with.
when someone whispers a story to me.
when someone traces my skin.
chloroform.
foreveralone-lyguy:
jumpforth:
foreveralone-lyguy:
I didn’t choose the swaggy life, the swaggy life chose me
*swaggie
excuse you
cowboybeboop:
viste:
cowboybeboop:
reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it
IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST
only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
foxnewsofficial:
sometimes i’ll have loads of money and then other times i’ll be awake
